Self-Reliance: My Radical & Philosophical Alternative to Therapy

One of the greatest feats of emotional maturity within the Millennial and Gen Z generations was the normalization of therapy. They extracted the stigma of the mental health service injected from past generations, and in its place left it as a healthy option of those in need of it. Countless people in their 20’s and teens openly declare the impact therapy has made. For many, it has revived them of their confidence and unlocked new levels of self understanding. However, what of those seemingly few who’ve yet to consider therapy an option? Do they remain entrapped by the stigma of their parent’s generation? Are they perpetuating an outdated and toxic perspective? I can’t speak as to the others, but for me at least, experimenting with a more introspective alternative to mental health challenges has always been about empowerment. It represents an individual journey in harnessing control over untamed negative thoughts, ones that accompany us throughout much of our lives.

In addressing my own mental health, I turn to a personalized approach I like to refer as “Self-Reliance”. The name is as self explanatory as it gets, and I began employing it as I matured throughout my early twenties. Instead of utilizing the expertise of a licensed therapist, I choose to sink deep in my mind to map out my own thoughts and feelings. I stumbled at first, not knowing whether I was diagnosing fact from fiction. I had nothing but my own mental resources to fall back on. But as my cognitive experimentation became more refined, the conversations in my head grew more honest and I matured as a result. I’m well aware that to many this alternative approach may be seen a toxic or unhealthy, but ironically it has led to a great sense of empowerment. Retreating inward to recognize, diagnose, and self-treat threats to mental health has enabled me to create a purely individualized plan of action. One that moves in motion with my thoughts and emotions, instead of simply trying to justify them as they are. Relying on my own mind to resolve any mental health challenges now takes a mere fraction of the time and effort when I first began. And while this alternative method is one that many would avoid, I’ve found that it has granted me sustained calm and “BIG mental health energy”.

In my exercise of self-reliance, the beneficial byproduct of increased self awareness resulted. Given all the time spent invested in my alternative approach to therapy, I gradually became more aware of my own personhood. I came to understand the conditions that would present challenges to my mental health, and knew to terminate any thoughts that would threaten my peace. It was during this stage of increased self awareness that I developed my own visual metaphor for mental health. I see it as the mind’s lawn, that seeks to be free of weeds. The lawn represents mental health, the weeds as threats to the lawn, and the weedkiller as the mental processes developed to rid the lawn of any and all weeds. Like everyone else my lawn is no means perfect, but I strive to have my lawn free of as many weeds as possible at all times. Due to my personal philosophy of self-reliance, I’m able to do just that. Don’t be mistaken, I have days and weeks that are worse than others, but because of increased self awareness I can now see when the storm clouds gather when I couldn’t before. It’s heightened my ability to shun instances where the soundness of my mental health may be threatened. Now in my life, I almost feel guilt-ridden admitting that there are seldom occasions when I’m not mentally content, not in a state of control and calm.

Following the ripple of benefits from self-reliance, I also found that with self awareness came a greater clarity of self. I know this to be true because if being honest, I haven’t changed much since the age of 21, perhaps even 20. I don’t indulge in self-pity, I do not linger in environments that fail to stimulate me, and do not feign interest in subjects I find disinteresting. I am calm and confident, and know what I do and do not like. This greater clarity of self has helped me align my thoughts and actions, and it all connects back to my alternative philosophy of self reliance. This alternative approach to mental health appeared daunting as first, but has led me to a swarth of discoveries that I continue to use today. I realize that therapists can simply be tools used by those who seek their services to discover these exact same benefits. However, there is something empowering to your own being in casting that tool aside and discovering them with your own bare hands. It leaves me pondering what else can I achieve through my mind alone?

At this point, I do want to pause to say I sincerely believe therapy is an incredibly beneficial tool. I’m also relieved to see how Millennials and Gen Z have castrated the stigma that once ensnared the process itself. I do not see those who actively seek and embrace therapy as weak or in possession of lesser will. I do not view them from a balcony from where I’m perched above, content in some self-perceived superiority. I have a handful of friends who have therapists and it warms me to see the positive impact they have on their lives. I have always done my own thing in my life, and my alternative approach to addressing mental health is no different. When it comes to battling with our own mental health, each of us owes it to ourselves to adopt the strategy that works best for us, and we can make that judgement call.

So in keeping the tradition alive, I leave you once again in the company of another one of my adored quotes on a particular topic: “Increasing the state of our mind is the only way to reduce the difficulty of life.” - Mokokoma Mokhonoana