A Romantic Obsession with Solitude: My Love for Being Alone
From the first day of Kindergarten and upwards to our last years of college, gathering in herds is a natural aspect of our social development. Whether or not this explains why 2/3 people identify as extroverted, it does put those who wish for their own company in an entire different light. That spotlight more or less comes with a social stigma, highlighting potential social discomfort with crowds, inferior social skills or awkward tendencies. But this perception is flawed in its philosophy. There's a fierce romance in solitude that is highly undervalued. It's all centered around the fact that it's the most intimate opportunity for you to understand yourself.
The first advantage of immersing in this environment is you're allowed uninterrupted peace to discover yourself, in your most authentic form. You uncover parts of yourself that constant stimulation may prevent you from learning, and that you've been grossly underestimating the value of alone time. Never fear the misconceptions that deem those in solitude as loners or outcasts. Alone time is something every person should schedule for themselves. It can be devoted to reading literature, exercising a newfound passion or any other thing you tell yourself you don't have time for. Deprive yourself of this environment, and risk losing parts of yourself you'll never become acquainted with. That's something no one has the luxury to afford.
An even bigger price tag in neglecting solitude is not making time to de-stress. Alone time is the best possible cure for this ailment. Deep down, there's no one better in knowing how to shut out the noise of the world than yourself. You're the key ingredient in laying your troubles to rest, especially in these anxious times of global pandemics and social turbulence. Stress and the affects it can weigh on your thoughts and mental health is not something to procrastinate. Risk it building up piece by piece and next thing you have is a countdown to a meltdown, waiting to erode yourself and those that surround you. De-stressing allows your head to empty, your thoughts to be clearer and the thoughts of others to hold far less power over you than they do others. It's bit of an evolution; it's all part of the romance. Don't allow yourself to be deprived of something so intoxicating.
Third, avoid making the mistaking alone time for being anti-social. As we are naturally social creatures, it only makes sense for us to seek out others for stimulation and entertainment. Though a prime way to optimize our social interactions is in fact allowing yourself to become seduced by solitude every now and then. It provides the opportunity to sincerely appreciate the friendships we've made with others. There's an unspoken danger in being surrounded at all times, regardless of the company we keep. Solitude is a part of what makes for the healthier social relationships in our lives. Despite the adrenaline we often get in trade for our nights out and social gatherings, they in turn demand our energy and almost full attention. Be sure not to let your battery be drained before you've allowed yourself to recharge. You're not a cellphone.
Finally - empowerment, empowerment, empowerment! In a world obsessed with sharing and Instagram posts, it's exceedingly difficult to master the art of being alone. Our thoughts betray us and lead us to concern ourselves with the perceptions of outsiders. How many times a week do you eat a meal in public alone? How often are you without a gym partner? How comfortable are you with attending a concert, a bar crawl or a taking a stroll by your lonesome? Test your limits and learn to understand that your presence is all that you need. You'll notice your back straighten and your head held higher. If you see judgements casting suspicions of arrogance or conceitedness, leave them. They're only confessions of those that have yet to master this art themselves. And it honestly is an art.
The famed poet Sappho once wrote in her poems ''in this icy numbness of being alone,'' eluding to loneliness and its power to freeze. Not to contend with a literary matriarch, but I could never find a solace in her statement. It's my alone time that keeps me warm and there are seldom instances we're I felt a chill in the air. This is the romantic relationship I have with solitude, and how I fell in love with being alone.
